Apology or conflict avoidance?

Avoiding conflict is not always a bad thing but there is always a battle between ‘making life easy’ and having those conversations that are necessary for an individual’s growth. 

If 2 people fall out, rather than seek to put right behaviour, we will seek to cover over the problem with a well worded apology that carries little meaning. We become satisfied with 2nd best and miss an opportunity for growth. 

If we avoid the behaviour change, we will just store up the problem for a later date. Getting it sorted early is more beneficial for everyone. It may involve an apology but any apology must be one from the heart that carries behaviour change and must never be used to prevent a deeper work of correction and improvement. 

Apology or not?

What constitutes an apology? There are times when you hear someone say ‘sorry’ but the recipient finds the words unacceptable.
It is easy for some people to share an apology but, in truth, what are they apologising for? Lets look at a couple of examples;

1) “I am sorry that you feel upset!”
2) “I apologise for the way I acted and am sorry that I upset you?

Both the above are apologies, only one carries weight. The first apology is an empathetic one and corrects no wrong, the second accepts poor behaviour and the consequences that resulted from it. Therefore, the second carries weight and gives a greater opportunity for a positive on-going relationship.

We all make mistakes. We all have times when we must apologise.
For you, what constitutes an apology?