Have you ever wondered why people do the things they do? Tell me, why do some people;
- phone me to ask if I have read their email? – just do one or the other, not both, you are duplicating workload.
- leave a phone message to ask me to call back when they could just leave a better message? – this is just lazy and adding unnecessarily to workload
- read their presentation directly from notes and give you the handout? – just give me the handout. If you do a presentation then add life to the written page.
- pay for a gym membership to do step training, yet do not walk up escalators? – one is free, the other extortionate
- attend a concert, make a poor recording on their phone and then buy a professional recording to watch? – ignore the poor recording and engage in the concert
There are many, many more but these were the first few that came to mind. What would you add to the list?
“We are all mistaken sometimes; sometimes we do wrong things, things that have bad consequences. But it does not mean we are evil, or that we cannot be trusted ever afterward.” ― Alison Croggon
This quote has hung around with me these last few days. It is far easier to take on when it is myself who is mistaken and others face the consequences than when it is the other way around and I must face consequences.
I am currently dealing with a situation where someone has made a decision from limited knowledge that has what I consider to be ‘bad consequences’ – it has really stung and is impacting my views on those reponsible. All the theory of how I should be responding is in my mind but the pain and hurt is overwhelming. It would be easy to kick and scream, shout and look for support but the harder route is to remain silent, allow time to take its course and allow people to learn. The results will be better, the learning greater and the long term consequences fruitful. Meanwhile, the pain is hard to take……but it will be worth it and in time – all will be well.
In the meantime…..it is time to work through the pain.
One of my favourite bands is Queen. Whilst they lost their frontman over 20 years ago, the music still lives on and has not been lost to the mists of time. I was fortunate enough to see them play live in Manchester 1986 and enjoy putting on an album or two when traveling. With this in mind, I thought that I would write my top ten favourite tracks – it may change next week – no mean feat when you look at the back catalogue….here goes, in no particular order;
1) Love of My Life
2) Hammer to Fall
3) These are the Days of our Lives
4) In the Lap of the Gods
5) Seven Seas of Rhye
6) One Vision
7) Don’t Stop Me Now
8) Somebody to Love
9) I Want it All
10) You’re My Best Friend
and 11) “Only the Good Die Young” but as a tribute song without Freddie on vocals
This list was really difficult as there are so many more favourites but for now, these are my top 10.
“Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them.” Leo Tolstoy
Unlike the song, loving is not easy. In fact it is hard, painful, messy, costly but it is also joyous, wonderful and exhilarating. I never forget being accused of ‘loving too much’ in reference to a team that I was leading. They meant this negatively but thankfully, I received it in a positive light. It was meant in a negative form as they believed that by loving my team, the hard questions would not be asked.
They missed the point – the hard questions were asked BECAUSE I loved the team. It was a necessary part of loving. Love is a two sided coin, hurt and pain on one side, joy and hope on the other. The good news is that love is a special gift and one that can be experienced by all people.
If you lead a team – love them and recognise that love can be costly but it will also be most rewarding.
We may never know the influence that we really have, we may never know what impact the words we have uttered will bring into the lives of other individuals. There is something extraordinary in the way we can bring influence to bear, even better when that influence is for good.
A few years back, I was privileged to hear the story of a young man who had grown in wisdom and stature with his home church. Now a leader, he sought me out to share a few things about his life and the direction that he was now pursuing. It was one of the most humbling experiences of my life. At the end of a bible study programme, he had spoken with me and apparently the words I said, long since forgotten by me (but not him), challenged him to action and a course that would enable his creativity to live. I had no idea….
This week, I spoke with a former work colleague. He shared that I had been influential in his life and that he had considered me to be a mentor during his time in the organisation. I had no idea….
The life you live, the words that you say, the influence you may have may be powerful beyond your lifetime. You just never know the influence that you may be having on the people around you, the changes people are making because you are present….your life, your ways….they are influential, you need to start believing it and acting on it. Make your words a tool for the good, a positive force for others and as you do so, change the world!
Influence…you just never know…
How often have you heard it said that ‘it is rude to whisper!’ Probably a lot, especially if you have spent any time around children. Let’s put things straight, it is NOT rude to whisper….sometimes it is necessary and it can be the best way to communicate. Please don’t say it anymore.
It is rude to ignore people that are in the room with you or to deliberately leave them out of the communications that are happening in their presence but the volume of the communication is not the determining factor.
It is not rude to whisper.