Forgiveness….NO! It’s Trust

For Christians, the issues of forgiveness and trust are some of the heavyweight battlegrounds in terms of Church relationships. I have been personally working through some of these issues for a few months and, in truth, been beating myself over the head about my lack of forgiveness in a particular relationship. It has been more than a thorn in the flesh, more a millstone around the neck. When people have spoken with me, the weight of the millstone has increased and rather than helping, my anger with myself has increased leaving me feeling worthless and useless…..well, it did, until that eureka moment struck. I had forgiven, the issue was not forgiveness but trust.
I have to stop beating myself over the head for lacking forgiveness, rather find a way in which you can learn to trust again. What a difference, personally!
The difficult part is the understanding of others who have interpreted behaviours differently (albeit understandably) and have levelled accusation that I now realise were unfair and have ‘hamstrung’ me in my faith. Recognising the real issue has been a breakthrough and hopefully the future can be a little brighter now. The journey is certainly a different one, learning to trust again is certainly a longer road to travel, yet the destination will be joyful.